Moving On Series: ANGER MANAGEMENT

Today wasn't a good day. I got into an argument with some stranger boarding the LRT and got really pissed of how chaotic Robinsons Supermarket in Malate is. Worst part is that the whole time even though I was pre-occupied on a lot of stuff, Jai was the only thing in my mind. I would sometimes space out and remember the days that we were happy, when we held hands and the way he would look at me and care for me when I get tired from walking. The way he knows that 'm hungry. It was foolish of me to think that there is still hope for us. I love him so much and the longer that I don't see him the more it hurts. I can't forgive myself for letting him fall out of love. It was a big shock for me to ever think that he was capable of leaving me. 

I can't sleep at night because he's all I think about. I blame myself for letting him slip away. I doubt those happy times we've spent together were real. If the fun things that happened to us recently was just a lie? 

Each morning I still hope that he would send me a text and say that he realized that he still loves me. I know that I can no longer go back. He doesn't trust me anymore. He didn't give me another chance to change but gave up on me and let me slip away. People say that time will heal everything, how could it heal me if I know for a fact that he will never come back and love me like before. I miss his smell, his hug and everything about him even our petty fights and how he would woo me at times. I know that he won't read this but I want to tell him that I love him so much. 

He deserves the best and I wasn't able to give him that. Good night everyone and I hope I can sleep well too. 

Moving On Series: MEG

Count your blessings! I am so blessed for having a friend like Meg. She and I met because of my ex. Its because of her messages and words of advice that I get through each day and whenever I feel like doing something stupid her texts always save me. She told me not to expect and bother myself thinking about my ex and that my focus should be on myself. :)

Moving On Series: RAIN

Hello Guys! 

I didn't realize that its almost been a year since my last post. I was that lazy or just busy. Now I have the time in the world. As you guys may have noticed, most of my blogs if not, all included Jai (Bee) my boyfriend, well used to be my boyfriend. I'm now helping myself move on. Don't worry I won't go mad and delete my former posts as it is useful in helping you scout for cheap eats around the metro. I'm currently hanging out at my now favorite milk tea place eventhough internet is quite slow. I want to start a new blog series about finding something new or something that will make me happy as I'm in the process of healing and trying to focus on myself. I won't lie, I am depressed and sometimes think about jumping off a building. I lost my first love and my best friend. I even saw him this morning because we live in the same barangay. Hurts big time! So my first entry that made me happy today was the rain.

Earlier this evening I was on my way to the milk place shop when suddenly the rain poured and unfortunately for some reason I didn't bring an umbrella. I texted my ex and asked him if I could stay at their place for a bit or borrow an umbrella as I was near their house when it rained. I didn't get a reply, I waited for sometime but still no reply. I asked God to give me a sign, if my ex texts me back before a specific time it means that there is still hope for us. He did text me but after 30 min or about an hour I guess. I took this as a sign that I should stop hoping and wishing that he's feelings would come back. I don't know for sure in the future but for now it became clear to me that moving on is the only option I have. I am not closing my doors but I am not gonna waste my time waiting for him to come back. If he will, he will, if not then I guess God has a better plan for the both of us. So that caps off my first moving on series entry.

Random thought: I think I should get an internet plan cause its kinda expensive and fattening to hang out at cafe's. Bye for now, hope I can sleep well tonight. :) 

It takes grown-ups to make relationships work. - One More Chance the movie